Noam Ben-Zvi

I haven't written an in-depth post in a while on the latest news just for Noam.  And there is so much to share!  Noam has blossomed into an amazing little boy.  He is 4 years old now - going on 12.  Noam is a thinker.  He understands every morsel of what you say to him - and he analyzes and makes sense of it all in his own head.  He challenges the way that things are said - and the words that are used - so that it is expressed just the right way - that way that it makes the most sense.  And he is often right.  He uses words and expressions that are way beyond his age.  He told me the other night ' I would rather read this one first, and then this one second because that is what I would prefer'.  I wish I would write these things down - as my memory fails me and they are truly gems.  But I still LOVE that he shows his age when saying the color brown.  He is convinced that the word is 'brownd' and there is no convincing him otherwise.

Noam has an amazing memory.  Some kind of photographic something or other.  He learns the words to songs that he hears once or twice on the radio.  He seems to know all of them - even to hardcore rock songs that I cannot decipher.  Possibly he makes them up - but he sings with confidence - so I believe him.  He loves music and rocking out.  He also loves just singing sweet lullabies and other kid music.  His taste is wide reaching.

Noam loves telling jokes.  I recently purchased a joke book for him and he was thrilled.  He was nervous about the first day of school, and so I told him that if he saw other kids who looked nervous, that he could just tell them a joke and it would make them more comfortable.  He loved that idea and perked right up with it.  I think it made him feel good that he could do something to help others like that.  The favorite joke these days is 'Why did the Watermelon & Honeydew have a wedding?  Because they Canteloupe.'

The other night Noam interviewed Ari with the iphone.  He videotaped him and was asking his questions - just like a true journalist.  He had thoughtful ideas, and he responded appropriately based on Ari's answers.  He probed and was an 'active listener'.  for example, he asked Ari 'How do you play the game' and Ari told him 'I break the blocks'.  So Noam would say 'Oh - so you break the blocks.  Well - how do you do it exactly'.  And Ari would say' I press on it and it explodes', and then Noam would say 'Oh - so it explodes.  So - do you try to make a lot of them explode?'  It was just the cutest little interview - all caught on tape :)

Noam is a silly machine.  He is often over the top with his silliness - and he doesn't really know about silliness limits too well.  So he can go way overboard and tire us out.  But it is truly just because he is a ball of fun - and he loves to have a good time - and he wants everyone to think that he is funny.  He is a goofball - but can also be VERY serious.

Noam now seems to enjoy playing soccer.  Against my original thinking, we have signed him up again for soccer 'fall' season. It will be very interesting to see if he actually takes to it this season.  The 'spring' was a total mess - but he was young and it was only season 1.  So we are giving it another go.  Especially because he spent the summer practicing with his Aba & brother - and is actually quite good!  He does a great soccer dribble boogie!  He is also a great swimmer.  He can swim without a shell - and go back and forth across the pool.  Our backyard pool has been great for him - and he still LOVES to wear goggles!  In Cape Cod, Noam picked up the art of boogie boarding quite quickly - and he was not afraid to take his board out into the waves, paddling away - and float back to shore.  

Noam has been teaching himself to read.  He is super interested - and unfortunately we don't find enough time to just sit down with him and teach - and so he hasn't had too much opportunity.  But on his own he reads words - and asks me to tell him if he is reading them correctly - and he is doing a great job.  He is in the transitional kindergarten this year - I predict that with their help he will be fully reading by December.

Noam also has started voraciously drawing.  This is about the age that Ari's talent started to emerge - and Noam is clearly an artist in his own right.  He makes fanciful drawings - and his tongue darts around wildly as he concentrates on his pictures.  He has great use of color - and has been into drawing superheroes and cars (just like his brother taught him).  He enjoys being creative - and now sits quietly in the playroom and draws for a long time.  We recently bought some frames to show off his artwork in his room - and he was super proud of his creations!

Noam is still our hug-bug.  His hug grip is one to be reckoned with.  I have never felt hugs in the way that Noam offers them.  He just gives his full self - freely - and shows his love fiercely.  It is an amazing feeling to be a receiver of a Noam Ben-Zvi hug special.  Grandpa can attest to it - for he gets some of the best hugs around as well.  I hope it means that Noam will always be able to freely put his feelings out there.  He doesn't hold back - and it is a wonderful quality.  He is also very giving with the compliments.  The other day in the car he told me that I sounded just like the singer of the song.  My heart swelled.  And I put on a new sweater the other night - and was told - 'Mommy - that is a really pretty new dress '.  :)

Noam also has a beautiful little face.  His features are prominent and chiseled - with a gorgeous little smile that he is not stingy with.  I predict that he will be the talk of the town by some of the little girls.  But I don't think he notices too much.  Ari used to be more interested in the girls than Noam at his age.  Noam is a guys guy right now.  I never hear anything about any of the girls in his class from him.  He is just too busy.

We love watching Noam.  He is full of mischief and has a strong independent mind.  But he is a loving, sweet and happy boy, with a big heart (he always tells me how he misses granny and likes to talk to her).  He is my special baby boy - getting so big around every turn.  But with a heart that will melt any other!

The Cape Codder

We just returned from a most fantastic vacation in Cape Cod! We spent a week in Chatham - we rented a little cottage. What a fabulous vacation. The place had air conditioning - that made a difference! But seriously - we just had a really nice & relaxing time...and we needed it...

 To start off on Day 1 - the weather wasn't great. We arrived late on Saturday and just situated ourselves in our cottage. The boys were once again thrilled with their vacation house (although it didn't really compare to Playa Del Carmen). We hit the Chatham fish market for dinner - and got the kids ice cream.

 On Sunday - again it was a kind of rainy / hazy day. So we spent the day at Rock Harbor in Orleans. What an amazing beach!! The tide is so low - practically non-existent - and it goes out for miles. So you can walk out really far and find crabs, etc. The water was a beautiful temperature - and the scenery - like nothing I have ever seen. It was truly beautiful - pink and magenta sands (burnt orange too), oyster racks far out at sea which we being harvested at the time and we got to watch it, 6 lone trees making a path out to sea (unreal), and a beautiful horizon. The kids splashed around for hours - waltzing between the swaths of sea and sand - going really far out into the ocean bed - and even after a couple of hours - were still thrilled to find a crab here and there. They never tired of it - and Lavi and I didn't either. What a great start to just relax and enjoy the view!

 The next day was beautiful weather. So we wanted to hit a beach with waves - the kids were exited to do that. We tried Hardings Beach in Chatham, which was closest to us - but it did not satisfy. So we thought we would head back to Orleans and give Nauset beach a go. Well everyone else on the Cape had the same idea - and we couldn't get in. We ended up at Skaket beach - which is right next to Rock Harbor (same place as the day before). The kids again spent hours playing in the sand - and meeting other kids to play with. They ventured out with Lavi for a while - and I read a book on the beach. It was really nice - just perfect for the kids. We then got to Nauset beach in the late afternoon and the kids got to jump the waves. With all the news of Shark encounters, the seals bobbing about and the strong undertow - they were watched closely. We then stayed for a concert in the gazebo. It was beautiful, good music, and relaxing. Noam loves to hear live music - he is just like his dad - listens to every word, knows the lyrics to most songs he has heard (including some classic & hard rock). Ari enjoys it too - and both boys ran around with the other kids going wild around the gazebo.

 Day 3 we ventured up to Provincetown for some whale watching. Lavi took the kids on a 1:30 tour - which lasted for 3 hours. They saw tons of whales - and had a blast. I did not go - my seasickness fear gets the better of me. But I enjoyed just walking around the shops - spending a little too much time at Cuffy's - and exploring. I met up with my family around 4:30 and we enjoyed dinner on the water - and then headed home. Our cottage ended up being a very relaxing little place - and it helped that I could watch the Olympics in the background each night. Lavi finally took me up on my recommendation to read 'Unbroken' and he was fully absorbed by then.

 On Wednesday & Thursday we took the kids to Ridgevale Beach in Chatham. This is a perfect beach - has some waves - enough for the kids to get comfortable with boogie boarding. It also has tide pools - great for searching for crabs and fish - Lavi bought two nets and a nice big bucket. The kids enjoyed it. Lavi also rented a paddle board - and we both took the kids out for a ride. They got to try it too - really fun - although it was tiresome trying to get us back to shore (against the head winds). One of these days - I took the kids to mini-golf, and on the other day we did the Go-Karts. Needless to say - Go-Karts was the winner of the two - the kids had a BLAST! Of course - both nights ended up at the ice cream shop.

 Friday was HOT and humid! We didn't want to go to the beach so we ended up at the Fish Pier in Chatham - right at the perfect time when the fisherman were bringing in their catch. And the catch was interesting too - 'dogfish' aka 'sand-fish'. We saw it all up-close - quite repulsive - but educational I guess. The seals were the real attraction - there were tens of them - and they were so interesting looking - and HUGE! We also drove up to Wellfleet and checked out the harbor. We got home around 4:00 and just relaxed and ate dinner. And then went back out to Chatham to go for Penny candy. That was fun - until we noticed the Friday night Chatham bandstand was having a concert. It was packed with families - and tons of beautiful colorful balloons. The kids got light sabers - and they were in heaven. And then the music started - and I just swooned. It was AMAZING! The band did the Sound of Music, Sleeping Beauty, a few Waltz's, America the Beautiful, A tribute to Journey - and much more. And the kids got to dance around the bandstand gazebo and Noam & Ari loved doing 'BINGO' and 'Take me out to the Ballgame'. It was emotional to watch this concert - I got choked up singing out loud - but it was liberating for me too. I have been feeling so sad and tired. It was really nice to just see and be a part of life at its fullest - enjoying such wonderful sights and sounds with a huge crowd - and everybody just loving watching their children and listening to the great band. The conductor was amazing too - he told a great blonde joke - and he got choked up as well when singing 'America the Beautiful'. It was beautiful and special - and I hope I never forget it. Ari made me take him for a walk around the shops at 9:30pm - because he just loved to walk around the shops in Chatham at night. When we got out of the car he said 'Mommy - I just really needed this walk!'

 Breakfast on Saturday was at the airport. Sounds awful - yes - but it was such a great find. The Hangar Eatery served up fantastic local, organic food - the waffles and pancakes looked to die for! (Although somehow I ordered the exact wrong thing - typical). The kids got to go to the beach for an hour - and I was able to check out a few shops on main which I hadn't had a chance to do.

 I really missed my mother on this holiday. At every shop - I missed her being next to me and exploring the little things on each rack and table. And I wanted to share every view and sight with her. She was truly my best friend - and I miss her all the time - every minute. But I especially missed her on my holiday with an aching heart - because I just cannot believe that she is not with me - sharing my life with me. I am learning how to move forward - this holiday showed me that - and it felt good to relax with my family. My mother was a relaxing presence for me - and I am just trying to find that again - but I hope that she was shining down on me as I was mothering my children on a not-to-be-forgotten vacation. Ari cried when we said we were leaving. We promised him that we would be back. And maybe he will be my shopping buddy - he seems to enjoy poking and treasure hunting...

Super Soccer Flash Party - Held Indoors

So we got a little unlucky this year with the weather for Ari's birthday party. A beautiful day on Saturday - a rainstorm on Sunday. So - we held the party indoors with 30 children!! It was stressful for mom & dad in the preparations - but the party itself was a blast! We started the kids off with 15 minutes of playing in the playroom until all the kids had arrived. We then explained the rules of the party - which was that each kid received their EMPTY loot bag at the start. During the party they had to hold on to their bag and keep filling it up with goodies. The first game was pass the parcel - which had layers and layers of wrapping. Each child unwrapped a layer and then went to choose a prize from the secret bucket. Sometimes an extra prize fell out of the layer. So that created goody #1. The next game was an indoor scavenger hunt with 5 clues. At each clue station, the kids received another goody to add to their bag. We had the following clues: 1) Dirty dishes pile up here I think. Find your next clue under the ____. 2) When Ari is tired, he lays down his head. Find your next clue under the ____. 3) One two, buckle my shoe, three four shut the ____. 4) Rub a Dub Dub, three men in the ____. 5) The couch is where I like to be, to sit, relax and watch ____. The indoor clues were easier than our outdoor clues because we really wanted to avoid the kids turning the house upside down. So they figured them out easily, but still had fun running up and down and finding the clue and the prize at each station. We ended up in the TV room, where each kid got a big cup of popcorn to watch two 6 minute episodes of Shaun the Sheep. Lavi spent a lot of time trying to find an appropriate and funny show. The kids loved them. Then they each got another prize before heading up for cake. Ari had a blast - classic party games can really be fun! And I think he liked having all his new Carmel friends at his house for the first time. The girls ADORE Ari. They enjoy pampering him and taking care of him - and he likes it too :) I had tried to get away with just the boys this year - but NO WAY. We can't have a party without Ari's girlfriends (all 15 of them). Noam told me last night - he wants a Batman cake and batman costumes. He wants all the clues in the house to run and find. And we should wrap his parcel in batman paper :) I think he had fun as well!

Six Years Old ALREADY??

Happy Birthday to our special Ari! It is just amazing how you have grown - in leaps and bounds! A few things to note about Ari these days:

Ari loves to hang out with his friends. We just had a week off for Pesach and he was quite busy with lots of playdates. Many of them were with his brother - and those are always fun (minus the yelling and pushing that goes on). Ari is quite interested in the girls in his class - I think he follows in his father's footsteps - he would be very happy to have a girlfriend. Thankfully there are lots to choose from in his class at Carmel (much fewer boys to hang with), and Ari has already been telling us about multiple crushes. He had a girlfriend, who is no longer, and he will not tell me the final story. I like being in the know - and feel sad that we have already gotten to a point where some stories are not meant for mommy ears.

Ari has two loose teeth - front bottom. He told me 'don't let me eat anything in the apple family!', and that he needed a midnight appointment with the dentist. The teeth are pretty loose - but not about to fall out just yet. Ari learned a lot about Passover this year at school - and he created his own Haggadah - and he loved the seder which we hosted at our house for the first time, with 30 people. This year for Ari's birthday, he chose a new set of markers, and a nerf water gun and he wants a Ninjago cake. I am thinking that he is going to be the main designer this year. Ari's birthday party is next week - we are expecting 30 kids for a superhero soccer party with a cool scavenger hunt.

Ari has been continuing to draw as much as ever - he still loves his favorite topics, such as race cars and superheroes, but we see a lot more ninjas these days. Ari thinks he has made a million pictures this year - he may not be far off.

Ari started his 5th soccer season. His coach is from South Africa and spent a lot of time in Israel. He has already noticed that Ari is quite light and quick on his feet. He practices a lot outside with his dad, and he really has been hustling! He also has started playing tennis for the first season - and has had two lessons so far. He says that he likes it.

Ari plays a lot of video games on the family iPad. It is really his favorite activity right now - and he asks about it A LOT! His favorite games are NinjaJump, Snowboard, the Lorax Marshmallow Munch.

Ari's favorite books are the Magic tree House series - with Jack and Annie. He reads them almost every night and is up to number 12. Aba brought home a whole slew of books from his school library and we have been getting into those as well.

Ari doesn't want me to write any more. He says that this post should be all done. So - we are going to sign off for now and just say - HAPPY 6th BIRTHDAY ARI! We love you tons and tons - and we hope that you have a great year ahead!

Life Goes On...

Well in the past 5.5 months since my mom's death - I have learned one thing for sure - life goes on. My heart aches every day for my mom - just to talk to her - to hear her voice - to tell her the small things about my day that absolutely nobody else cares about - to hug her - to eat with her - to be soothed by her - to laugh with her. She is gone from the present day - and guess what - life goes on. My kids continue to grow - we have to eat dinner every night - we have to brush our teeth and comb our hair - we have to catch the bus in the morning - we have to give big hugs and wave goodbye for a good day - we have to go to work - and we have to push ourselves to do it all again for the next day. These things are hard when you are grieving - but surely life goes on. Flowers continue to bloom - new and beautiful art is created each and every day - Ari makes new art - Noam makes new art - Ari learns new words - Noam sings new songs - Lavi makes career decisions - dad learns a new recipe - and I support all of them and watch them grow. And I notice that life goes on. And when it comes to me - I can't be as sure - I know that I smile and I laugh - I know that I love and I cry - I know that I work hard and I am praised for it - I know that I am strong - but I only feel loss - I can't see growth although I know it is there (certainly sideways). But even though myself feels a blur - life goes on and I am moving along with it. Swept up in the day to day activities, conversations, captured moments and grief. Since my mom passed:

Ari started school at Carmel Academy. He took the bus for the first time and has never looked back. In the first week of school he galloped on to the bus like he had been doing it for years - and I was truly surprised, but then he told me - mommy - I get a little sad when the bus leaves and I cry a little inside - and I told him that I have cried too and it is ok. That was week 1 - and he has not wimpered since. Ari has always been a little anxious - afraid to enter a large group, shy to go on rides and slides (that hasn't changed much), scared to get really absorbed in a soccer game, timid in crowds - but not since Carmel Academy. My little boy is growing - he was excited to start Kindergarten - he chats and makes friends easily - he stands up and tells stories to his class - he begs for playdates - he is a sponge for knowledge - he learns new hebrew words and songs (and sings them aloud) - he plays soccer on the playground with the first graders (and gets picked first for the team) - he plays soccer with the big boys outside of school and dives right in - he is fun and funny, a reader galore and a true artist - and bursts with potential. His spark has always been there - he is not as shy to show it around these days.

Noam started room Tet at Gan. He joined a new group of kids in his class this year - but he moved on with his 3 best friends so that helped. Noam is a goof ball - he sings and dances - his favorite is the zombie dance - he LOVES to tell jokes and gets the humor in a lot of more mature ones - he is a great listener - and talks A LOT. He has his opinions - he always has to share them - he talks a lot about my mother - he plays a ton with his brother - he tests the waters with his parents and is not afraid of pushing the limits - he gives huge hugs with wild abandon and delicious kisses and loves soft things - he falls asleep at night when his head hits the pillow - he loves his doggies - he has a lot of playdates and enjoys his friends - he is friendly and speaks to everybody - he also lets you know when he is feeling shy and doesn't want to talk - he loves to race and zooms around the playground - he is diplomatic - and he also shows a flare for drawing. He is three and a half going on seven - he told me the other day that he wants to be a grown up. He asked me if he was going to be a good dad. He is a thinker.

My boys are the light of my life. This is why life goes on. This is why I have to notice that life goes on.

My Dearest Mommy

My dearest mommy - I am missing you today, watching the snow fall outside my window. And I decided to read back through all of our journal postings - to hear your voice again through your writings, to feel you close. I feel you anyway though - I know you are with me but it is hard. Often, and most of the time, you are just too far away. Occasionally, you are right here. Loving me and watching me - and aching with me - but comforting me with your big blanket. We are doing ok - the boys have picked up this year and are loving it. You would be so proud to see Ari - how he loves his school, what he is absorbing and teaching us all, his fantastical drawings, his inquisitive mind. And Noam - how he misses you so! He shows me love with wild abandon, throwing himself around my neck, showering me with kisses. He is so articulate for a three year old - it is often surprising. And his humor shines through. Lavi is caring for me and helping to keep me on my feet. As usual, he is stressed with work and overwhelmed, but he continues to take care of all of us. And I am back to work - compartmentalizing all the time - getting through my days and my responsibilities. Aching for my mommy. Needing a hug from my mommy. Missing delicious cooking from my mommy and feeling overwhelmed at trying to pull it off without you (although I think I have made a few good dishes lately - lovingly inspired). I lost your messages on my phone - it broke my heart - but I am not going to torture myself to get them back - you are in my heart and your voice is in my head. I pray I never lose any of you - but I am scared of my horrible, inadequate, and insufficient memory. Even if I forget a few things - you are in me. I feel you as if I were you - what I truly aspire to be. There is so much about you, how you raised me, how you spoke to me, how we shared - that I find remarkable. None of us ever near perfection, but we can love even the most imperfect. I lost my guide when you died. I lost my unconditional love that only a mother can give. I lost the filling of the rest of my very filled days with you. These are big holes. They can never be filled by another - I will always miss you. But I am stepping one foot in front of the other. I am moving forward to be just that for my own children and to continue to build a life as beautiful as the one that you created. I love you very much.